Japan guide
The Great Onsen Hunt: How Tourists Try to Find Hot Springs in Japan (and Survive)
Ah yes, the onsen — Japan’s magical hot baths where you soak your body, relax your soul, and accidentally traumatize yourself if you don’t read the rules.
Tourists arrive in Japan thinking:
"I’ll find a beautiful onsen, like in the photos, with mountains, cherry blossoms, and maybe a friendly monkey."
Reality: Naked. Confused. Googling “can I wear a swimsuit?”
Step 1️⃣: The Decision — "I Want to Do This!"
You saw a YouTube video.
You saw an Instagram post.
Now you're determined:
"I WILL bathe like a Japanese local."
Welcome to your first mistake:
Not all onsens are equal.
Natural outdoor onsen? Heaven.
Tiny hotel basement onsen? Slightly awkward but still great.
Public sento? Technically not an onsen, but your confused brain won’t care.
Step 2️⃣: The Rules — "Wait, What?"
Before you even dip a toe:
No swimsuits.
No towels in the water.
Wash your entire body first like your mother is watching.
Tattoos? Uh-oh — better check the policy.
You’ll spend 20 minutes reading signs, another 10 minutes pretending you understand, then copy what everyone else is doing.
Step 3️⃣: The Naked Panic — "Everyone's Naked. Including Me."
Yes. You will be naked.
No, nobody cares.
Yes, you will care.
For about 2 minutes.
Then the hot water hits, your brain shuts off, and you ascend to a higher plane of existence.
Step 4️⃣: The Moment — "This Is Amazing."
You did it.
You’re soaking in natural mineral waters while staring at mountains, snow, or a beautiful garden.
You whisper to yourself:
"I am basically Japanese now."
Step 5️⃣: The Exit — "How Am I So Sleepy?"
Post-onsen is when you realize your bones have melted.
You’ll shuffle out like a very polite zombie, drink some vending machine milk, and sleep like you’ve never slept before.
Bonus Tip:
Don’t make eye contact with strangers in the onsen.
Nobody’s judging you — but everyone’s avoiding eye contact.
It’s part of the unspoken spa law.
Conclusion:
Finding and surviving an onsen is a rite of passage.
You’ll be awkward.
You’ll be confused.
You’ll love every second.